So last night I was driving home from Porirua after doing a job there and a thought occurred to me. The world's most powerful supercomputer is still less intelligent than a snail. And that's when it occurred to me. Instead of working on quantum computers, we should just go down to our gardens and get a snail and automatically we'd be one up on the current supercomputers. Even with quantum computers you're still using the same principles as current computers thus you'll just get faster idiots.

Using trained snails solves a number of issues related to current computers. Cost? Free. Running Costs? Lettuce and cabbages every few days or so. Heat? Ever had a snail slither across you, they're kind of cold therefore heat = non-existent. Space? They have their own storage facilities and can easily fit into a space no more than say 5cm comfortably. The only downside is that they move around so you might have to chase your computer quite often.

Imagine a cluster of snails as well. That would be awesome computing power in such a small space. If you had 100 snails at 5cm each you would need a space of 5m. Compare that with a supercomputer that researchers built to perform the task of a single human brain cell. It's only the size of a small room. To get the full function of the entire human brain you would need the area roughly the size of Tokyo.

But you would solve the problem of them eating your garden as well by moving them inside and giving them a lettuce or cabbage every few days they would have no need to raid your garden.

The hardest part about using trained snails as your computer system would be training them but I guess it is possible because it seems to work for Spongebob.

You wait, soon all our computing needs including word processing, spreadsheets, games, databases will all be done using trained snails. What a fantastic period in time that will be.